


soon (wait for me)

by ratzasz



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Dinner, Eventual Relationships, M/M, Phone Call, Returning Home, Tianshan - Freeform, but like also happy, happy birthday mo, he tian leaves, how do ppl tag, mo guan shan centric, mo is mad, mo likes to use foul language, mo longs for tian, mo misses he tian, not really angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:13:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26955646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratzasz/pseuds/ratzasz
Summary: he tian leaves without a word. one night, mo receives a phone call. it's he tian, and he's asking for mo to wait on him.
Relationships: He Tian & Mo Guanshan (19 Days), He Tian/Mo Guanshan (19 Days)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 243





	1. phone call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he tian still manages to wish mo a happy birthday (and answer a certain question)

He Tian has been gone for a couple of months now. And yes, Mo Guan Shan misses him. And yes, Mo Guan Shan hated that fact. When Mo realized that He Tian had actually _left_ , he couldn’t get a grasp of his emotions. Why had he left? Why didn’t he say anything beforehand? This isn’t the first time that he had left, though. The difference now is that he has surpassed the previous one week mark, and by a long shot. Not only that, but there has been no contact. Mo has absolutely no idea where he is or how long he’ll be gone. Better yet, _if_ he’s ever coming back.

Mo tried to prepare himself for the worse. There was always the chance that He Tian would, in fact, never come back. He would never see him again. Mo had a hard time imagining that, so he tried his best to ignore that possibility. They had come so far in such a small amount of time that Mo had a hard time believing it himself.

Mo Guan Shan’s birthday is tomorrow. In a few minutes, actually. Normally, he wouldn’t care. Normally, it would always be just him and his mom. She would make a nice dinner and give him a gift they both knew they couldn’t afford. Regardless, it was still nice. And normally, that was enough. This year, however, it didn’t seem to be. This year, Mo Guan Shan thought, was going to be different. He thought it was going to be _more_. He had made friends. Well, more or less. He knew they were his friends, but he didn’t dare to say that to them. The teasing would never end and he would rather spare himself the headaches.

He had embarrassingly often imagined how much different his life would be ( _has been)_ with the three of them. Birthdays, holidays, summer break, and even just the weekends would all be worthwhile. When he realized his birthday was approaching, he had kind of hoped that He Tian would make a big deal out of it. He wanted them to spend time together and Mo get onto him for being so rich and affording whatever god awful, extravagant gift he would inevitably get him. Hell, he didn’t even mind the idea of the other two being there as well. In fact, maybe he wanted that.

He Tian wasn’t here to make this year any different, and he hated it. When He Tian had started distancing himself from Guan Shan not too long before he left, Mo was beyond conflicted. Had he done something wrong? Probably, was his answer. God knows that his mouth and attitude push people away. He had to have said something that pissed He Tian off, and now the latter was ignoring him. He isn’t petty though - He Tian would just annoy Mo into apologizing. Maybe He Tian was just tired of him? No, that seemed...unlikely with how obsessed and consistently pestering He Tian is. 

Something must be off with him then. Hm, maybe he has something going on with his family? Mo stopped for a moment. That was likely. They don’t seem to get along too well, He Cheng and He Tian, that is. Perhaps they had a siblings quarrel? That wouldn’t make He Tian ignore Mo, right? Maybe it would. When He Tian is moody, he’s unpredictable. If he was being honest, He Cheng was someone whom he wasn’t sure if he would rather be related to or not. The brothers seem scary at first glance and well, while he knows He Tian isn’t the bastard he looks (or was), he has yet to be corrected by anything He Cheng has done. Aside from that, he’s pretty sure they’re involved in the mafia or something of the sorts. Their auroras are too dark, mansion(s) too big, and the owning of an island for there to be nothing sketchy going on behind the scenes was unlikely. Maybe they were in the midst of some shady shit happening.

Is that the only family He Tian has? He never speaks of anyone else. Well, there was once the mention of his asshole father, but they never seem to keep in touch and his mother has never been brought up. Mo doesn’t know what to think of that. If He Tian was going through something, would he be alone? Mo’s heart clenches. He knows he isn’t the person for He Tian that He Tian is for him, but he hoped that He Tian could see that he was trying.

_Until he bolted off to God knows where._

Fuck, Mo is tired of He Tian driving him crazy when he isn’t even here. Who does that bastard think h-

_blrblr blrblr blrblr_

_A phone call? No caller ID?_

Mo glances at his alarm clock... _12:02? Why would anyone be calling me, and at this hour?_

_What if it’s-_

Guan Shan answers the phone immediately, not waiting for his brain to finish the thought. 

“...Hello?”  
  
“Mo Guan Shan.”

  
Mo shoots up, body stilling as the darkness bathes him and his room. His breath hitches - it _was_ him. He hadn’t heard that voice in so long. He knew he missed it but hearing it now-

“Momo?”

_Fuuuck._

“He Tian? Where- how did you-”  
  
“Mo, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for leaving you like that. I wouldn’t have done it without a good reason. You know that, right? I was...you-” he takes a deep breath, “my family is dangerous, Mo Guan Shan. It’s never been something I’ve wanted to be apart of, especially after I met you. I want you to be safe, but being around me with my background makes it hard to ensure that. Something bad was going on, so I had to leave to make sure you wouldn’t get hurt because of me. I was putting you in danger by simply being there. I started to distance myself before I left so it wouldn’t be as hard for us. Or, maybe just me. I don’t know how you feel…” A beat of silence from both of them. “There’s not much more I can say right now, I want nothing more than to explain everything to you. I hate that you’re being kept in the dark. I wish-”

Okay. He knows he said he missed him and his voice, but he wants a chance to talk too, dammit.

“I know.”

“You know?”  
  
“I guess I’ve always known your family was fucked up in one way or another. I bet it’s the mafia...fucking bastard.” That earns a small laugh from the other male. Damn, did Mo miss that sound. ”I get that you have to hide things, but why couldn’t you just tell me you were leaving and that you’d be back? You didn’t have to explain anything. Do you have a problem with goodbyes? Idiot, you left that time when I was in the hospital without saying anything either. What a child, tsk. That would have been better than noth-...wait, _are_ you coming back? Were you planning on leaving without a single word? Where the hell even are you? You on some stupid island that your brother owns? Or are you on vacation in the fucking mountains? Hm? And how come when I asked your brother what the fuck happened to you, he said it wasn’t any of my business? Are you all assholes over there? Does it run in your blood?”

A soft chuckle interrupts his interrogation.

“Momo, I called you to tell you sorry and happy birthday.”

“Happy bir-? Why, you-”

“You only get one present, Guan Shan. What will it be?”

One present. It didn’t take long for Mo Guan Shan to figure out what He Tian means. It wasn’t a physical present, or even He Tian himself. He Tian was trying to get out of answering all of Mo’s questions. _Chicken dick._ One present...what does Mo want the most?

“Taking our time, are we darling?”

“Cut the bullshit, asshole. When will you be back?”

“When?”  
  
“Yes, fuck face, _when_.”

_When._ Not “are you coming back”, but _when._

“Hmm...are you sure this is what you want for your birthday, Mo?”

“Answer me before I hang up.”

“Be my guest, Momo."

Fuck He Tian.

“Shut up. Just answer so I can go to sleep.”

“If you’re tired then maybe we should talk another time!”

No, really. _Fuck He Tian._

“I swear-”

“I’ll be back soon.”

Oh.

“...how soon?”

“Eager, Guan Shan? I can only get there when I get there~”

"Fuck you.”  
  


Another soft chuckle from He Tian fills the air between them, then silence. Mo feels light. He’s still mad...and anxious. Of course, He Tian couldn’t give him a numerical response. _It wouldn’t hurt to not be vague for once, idiot._ But “soon”, nonetheless, means he’ll be back. And Mo Guan Shan will wait. There’s still silence, and Mo is afraid of the conversation and call ending. He wants to talk to He Tian all night. He wants to spend his entire birthday talking to He Tian. In an attempt to keep things going, he questions He Tian again.

“He Tian?”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“How did you manage to call me right after midnight? Does that mean you’re near?”  
  
“Ah, no. I did the math, babe~”  
  
“Don’t call me that! And what do you mean math?”  
  
“I’m pretty far, Momo. A different time zone, even. I watched the clocks though - knew when your special day arrived. I counted down the days, really. Probably more than you did.” 

Another timezone? Just how far away is this bastard? Why did he need to distance himself _this_ much? These, of course, were questions he knew wouldn’t get answered.

"Why my birthday? Why couldn’t you call any other day?”

“It just makes this moment that much more special, ya know? Plus, I’m under strict rules and surveillance, Momo. I can’t have contact with anyone. But ah...do you want me to break them for you~? It’s dangerous, but we both know you like that~”

Mo can practically hear the stupid, satisfied smirk on He Tian’s face. He wishes he could see it. He decides to not voice these thoughts as he feels the blood rushing to his face. He’s burning up and He Tian isn’t even here.

“No contact, huh. Then why can you call me right now?”  
  
“Everything has an exception, sweetheart.”

“I’m serious.”  
  
“So am I.”

Mo groans. He Tian is ridiculously impossible.

“Momo? I have to go.”

  
  
...Oh. Mo’s heart sinks. Will he have to wait until “soon” comes to talk to him again?

“Why?”  
  
“Surveillance, Momo. It’s not safe for either one of us to keep talking.”

_I don’t care_ , Mo thinks.

“I do. I can’t do anything to help if something were to happen to you. I rather not risk that. I don’t like being helpless.”

And apparently speaks it, too.

“Is this it?”

Mo knows He Tian understands the question.

“Until I get back, yes.”

He hums in response. _What now?_

“Guan Shan. Won’t you say goodbye to me~?”

“You really have a problem with goodbyes, huh? How pathetic. I’m not saying it, asshole.”  
  
“You don’t wanna say it either though, hypocrite. I think I deserve the goodbye, hm? I found a way to call you _and_ give you a birthday present.”

Mo snorts.

“Don’t act entitled. I could’ve waited a little longer for _soon_ to come. Whenever the hell that is.”

He mumbles the last part, only halfway wanting He Tian to catch that he still wants a better and less vague answer.

“Mo!” He feigns disbelief with a fake, exaggerated gasp. Mo knows he’s happy with what he has done to Guan Shan. “Have I got you curious and anxious? I promise I won’t keep you waiting long, _Don’t Close Mountain_.”

He then pauses for a moment, and Mo can feel as much as he hears the shift in the conversation. He stays quiet, not wanting to interrupt whatever is making He Tian take so long to say what’s about to come next.

“Wait for me, okay?”

He says it so soft and quietly that Mo would’ve guessed it wasn’t even He Tian who had said it - it was beyond uncharacteristic of him. But really, fucking He Tian, of course he’ll wai-

“I really have to go, Mo.”  
  
“O-ok.”  
  
“I promise I’ll be back. It won’t be long.”  
  
“I believe you.”

  
  
He hears the other’s smile, even though he doesn’t say anything. He can’t help but smile as well.

“Happy birthday, Mo Guan Shan.”  
  


He allows himself to bask in this moment before it ends. Sure enough, before he can respond, the call ends. He isn’t mad, though. He’ll be back. Soon. Until then, Mo will wait.

_A happy birthday, indeed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sry for mistakes, i only checked it over once. lowkey hate this BUT! should i do a part two of he tian returning? eh idk B) lmk


	2. i waited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> welcome back, he tian.

Guan Shan is currently walking home from work. It’s late and he just wants to pass out on his bed. His face lights up for a moment when he remembers that his mother mentioned she would be making his favorite meal for dinner early this morning. Maybe his much wanted night’s rest could wait. He puts a little pep in his step, his hunger suddenly taking control of his speed.

He’s a few blocks away from home when he receives a message...from an unknown number.

_Unknown: dinner is getting cold momo you better hurry~_

No way. No _fucking_ way. _Fuck He Tian._

How many times will he say that in his lifetime? He doesn’t know, but he can’t wait to find out. _Ew, gross. What kind of devil’s magic did this bastard use on me? Making me act like a girl in love, tsk._

He runs. He runs as fast as his legs can take him, and he’s sure this still isn’t fast enough. Does he think leaving _and_ showing up unannounced is slick? Mo can assure him that he is not amused. Regardless, he’s smiling. Like an idiot. Mo has concluded that he is an idiot. Or maybe he’s taking the blow for He Tian. He doesn’t know. They’re both idiots, right?

The cool night air makes his hard huffs a fog in front of him. He cuts through them with each stride. Rounding the final corner, he slows to a halt. He Tian is back. Like, he’s _actually_ back. _Inside his house, back._ Not to mention he’s with his mother...alone. Eating already? Did they wait? Dinner will have to wait because Mo is not going to simply ignore the fact that He Tian left without a word and is now randomly back while they eat dinner filled with useless, mindless chatter. He will drag him to his room by the ear if he must.

He feels unusually nervous while going up the stairs to their apartment. He skips a stair with each step anyway. Too much time has gone by to waste it now. He vigorously fishes for his keys in his pockets and bag while speed walking to the door. No matter if she’s home, Ma always keeps the door locked. It can be a hassle - to search for his keys and unlock the door even though she’s home, but he wouldn’t want it any other way. It makes him feel safe, knowing that she is.

He finally manages to blindlessly find the key in his book bag. He tosses the bag back over his shoulder and goes to open the door, only for it to swing open before he can do so.

“Momo! You made it! I was worried we would have to eat without you…”

Mo is one hundred percent sure time stops. There is no way he’s breathing right now. He Tian, in all his holiness, is standing tall in front of him. He looks tired, more than usual, and his hair is a little more unkempt. Other than that, it is undeniably He Tian. Mo has managed to tune whatever He Tian is saying out. He sees his lips moving, and he can vaguely understand what he’s mouthing, but all he hears is ringing. 

_How can he have so much shit to say, but none of it is about leaving? He fucking left. He fucking left and showed up, announced, at his place, with his mother, for fucks sake, while we wasn’t even home. And now he’s blabbing about, what? Dinner?_

Mo suddenly remembers how mad he is. Those months he spent wondering why He Tian left without telling him. The months he spent not knowing if He Tian would even come back. He couldn’t count the number of times he thought he would never see He Tian again. There was a lot he wanted to say, a lot he wanted to do. Sure, he was back now, and he could do those things, but Mo refuses to ever forget this anger. And he’s going to give He Tian the mouth full he deserves right now.

His mother speaks up.

“..Guan Shan? How long are you gonna stand there, honey? You’re letting in the cold a-”

Having this break in his thought gave Mo enough time to make a decision. Just as he had mused earlier, Mo drags him by the ear to the privacy of his room. Though, he contemplates yelling at him in front of his mother, just to embarrass him. He shakes that thought away as quickly as it had come. He’s afraid he might slip and say something that would embarrass _him._

His thoughts are interrupted by He Tian’s disapproving hollers behind him.

“Ow- Guan Sha- okay okay! I’m here! Hey, wait. Is that my jacket?”

He shuts his bedroom door just as He Tian gets the horrid question out. His eyes widen and he quickly looks down. _Fuck._ He makes eye contact with He Tian, only to be met with a wolfish grin and his finger pointing to the clothing in question. Mo blushes profusely, pushing him away as he shreds it off.

"Shut up!” The heat rises to his face faster than it ever has, he’s sure.

“Pft, I didn’t say anything.”

After he has successfully thrown it across the room, Mo stares at him. _Was that a distraction? Is he trying to avoid Mo’s questions again? This bastard is asking for it._ He tries to contain some of his anger. He decides to count to ten.

_One._

_Two._

_Thr- fuck this._

Mo slaps him across the face.

“ _What the fuck_?!” He Tian asks as he holds his cheek.

“Yeah, _what the fuck, He Tian?_ What were you thinking?”  
  
“What the hell are you talking about?”  
  
“Why are you here, asshole?”  
  
“What, you mean you don’t want me to be?”  
  
“That’s not-”  
  
“I told you _soon_ , didn’t I?”  
  
“Yeah, but-”  
  
“And I also told you we couldn’t talk to each other until I got back, right?”

Mo simply nods. It’s all he can do, really. How did this turn into He Tian fussing at Guan Shan?

“I couldn’t tell you I was coming back, not until I was actually here at least...strict rules, remember, Momo? I wanted to surprise you, but I didn’t really think about you not being home when I got here. Guess I was too excited, eh?” He wiggles his eyebrows. _Ew._ “Auntie told me you should be coming home from work by now. I knew you would be pissed if you walked in and saw me, so I texted you.”

They stared at each other. Honestly, Mo didn’t really know what to say. He Tian was right. He _had_ told him that he would be back soon. He _had_ told him that they probably wouldn’t talk until then. He _had_ said he was sorry and explained what he could. What did Mo really bring him back here for?

“Is that good enough for you? Hm, Momo?”

Good enough? Hell, this is all he’s been waiting for for months. What’s the point in pretending to hate having him back?

“He Tian.”  
  
“Yes, Momo?”  
  
“I’m going to do something stupid. If you ever, and I mean _ever-”_ _  
_

Before he can even finish his more or less empty threat, He Tian has engulfed him.

Mo hugs him back quicker than his mind can even catch up on what’s happening. _This_ is what he has been waiting for. Not just He Tian being back. Not just hearing his voice, whether on the phone or now, in person. _This._ Being close to He Tian. Being able to smell him right under his nose, where he knows he’s here. Being able to look into his eyes, to see the things that He Tian will never say aloud. Being able to feel him and know that this is real. He missed him so much, and by the way He Tian is gripping onto him with equal force, he knows he feels the same way.

There’s an unsure knock at the door. 

“Momo? Are you two lovebirds done in there? Dinner is definitely cold by now! I made all of this food…” she sighs “I would hate for it to go to waste, boohoo."

“Unbelievable,” Mo says under his breath.

He Tian lets out a soft chuckle at Mo’s response, earning him a light punch in the gut that separates them.

“Yeah, Ma. Be out in a sec!”

“Oh, good! I will reheat it!” They hear her walking back to the kitchen, humming a tune.

“Aw, I was hoping we would have more lovey-dovey time!” 

“That is _not_ what this was.”

He has the audacity to pout. _Don’t punch him again, don’t punch him._

“You didn’t correct her, ya know.”  
  
“Huh? What do you mean?”  
  
“Lovebirds~”

Mo splutters.

“Wha- lov- to hell with you! We aren’t lovebirds, you dick!”  
  
“Your subconscious says otherwise~”  
  
“Fuck you. I’m gonna go eat. Feel free to wither and starve in here.”

He walks out the door, grumbling while refusing to look back.

“So feisty, Momo! I kinda like it. Are you playing hard to get? I like a good chase~”

Besides, he knows He Tian will be right behind him, trailing happily.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry this took so long. it took a while to think of a good enough prompt. i honestly don't like this, but i kept writing and went with it anyway. hopefully it will suffice. i know this wasn't a lot of fluff but!! i have already started writing a final chapter that will be he tian spending the night. it should be up tmr...as my apology gift T-T


	3. you stayed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm here to stay

“Are you gonna help clean up or just sit there? Quit being useless.”

“Momo!” He Tian feigns disbelief. “How could you? I am not being useless. I’m supervising to make sure you look good while doing the dishes. Spoiler! You do~”

“That’s- Can you  _ actually _ do something useful?”

He Tian sighs, admitting defeat by standing and walking towards Mo who is at the sink. It’s just the two of them, Mo’s mother clocked out and bid goodnight to the boys not too long ago.

“You know, you’re supposed to say thank you after you receive a compliment.”

“I don’t need your bullshit compliments, anyway.”

“You think they’re bullshit?”

“...Yeah, I do.”   
  
“Hm. Maybe I should try to change your mind?”

Mo’s eyes widen, his mind trying to catch up with what He Tian, who is leaning closer with each word, is plotting. His breath now hot on Guan Shan’s, now definitely red, cheeks. He really wants to shove him away and pitch a fit, he really does. Something in him won’t allow him to do it. He hasn’t been  _ this _ close to He Tian in months. He had spent said months shamelessly wishing he  _ could _ be this close to him. He longed for the familiar mint and cigarette smell that was undeniably He Tian. He yearned for the touch the other’s long fingers supplied when they ghosted along his arm or neck, never more. He wanted to feel the heat rise to his face and butterflies swarm in his stomach every time he even caught a glimpse of that signature smirk. Even better: the real deal. The real smile He Tian has seemingly always reserved for Mo. 

Being so lost in thought had caused him to flinch once He Tian had actually leaned close enough to be touching him. This simple brush of their shoulders caused him to short-circuit. He quickly glanced up and was met with the more disappointed than hurt look that the other’s eyes held. He panicked and spluttered, trying to find the right words to apologize and explain himself. Before he was able to speak coherently, He Tian started.

“Stop running from me, Guan Shan. I’m here. To stay.”

_ How am I supposed to know that for sure? _ is what he wanted to ask. He stops himself, though. Hearing He Tian tell him this out loud was enough for him. He was promising to never leave Guan Shan again without actually saying those exact words. He Tian has done and been many things, but being a liar is not one of them. Mo believes him. He has to.

“I just- I don’t know why I can’t. I want to...but-”

“Then try. I know I’ve made it hard. I know I’m not good at this either...but I’m trying. Can you do that for me? For us?”

He furrows his brows at the question. Not because Tian was asking too much of him, but because the simple request had managed to make his heart race quicker than it already was. How the hell could he say no?

Guan Shan clenched and unclenched his fists. He Tian was right: he  _ hadn’t _ made it easy for Guan Shan. It felt right to make it just as difficult for He Tian.

“Fine.”

“...Fine?”

“Yeah, fine. I won’t run anymore...I guess.” He sighed dramatically and turned to the sink. “ _ If  _ you do the dishes.”

“The...dishes?”

“Mhm, the dishes. You can get started and I’ll be waiting in my room. Make it quick if you plan on making up for the lost time.”

He strides off, proud of himself. If he would have stayed for a few seconds longer, he would have witnessed He Tian’s bewildered look morph into the signature wolfish grin that would make anyone’s stomach swarm.

Needless to say, He Tian did the dishes that night.

☆☆☆

“Momo~ I’m done! Come out of the bathroom~”

Currently, Mo is sitting on the bathroom counter behind a locked door, promptly ignoring all of He Tian’s childish antics. The dishes was only the first part of making the male suffer.

“C’mon, Momo. I want to make up for lost time! Like you said!”

Guan Shan decides that the rattling of the doorknob and increasingly high pitched voice coming from the other side of the door is becoming too much, so he unlocks it and comes out. He walks swiftly past the whining teen, heading straight to his drawers for suitable clothing for his pesky guest.

“Mo~ Finally! I was starting to think you were making a liar out of yourself.”

He follows Mo as much as the small, cramped space allows. His breath is on Mo’s neck as he sifts through the shirts he has tossed into the bottom drawer because they are oversized on his smaller build. He abruptly stands, causing He Tian to take a  _ small _ step back.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Here, take these. And change in the bathroom. I’m not interested in seeing you-”   
  


His command is interrupted by the godly sight of He Tian stripping in front of him. He tries to yell at the other’s arrogance, but his voice seems to be lost. He Tian’s body is surely something one cannot get tired of looking at. Mo is learning that at this very moment. Sure, he has seen it before - mainly in the changing rooms at school or after a quick basketball game he has been dragged out to play with the other. In other words, he has seen it in public. Never truly alone like they are right now. The night and their current predicament make the moment more intimate than it probably should be. He watches the way the muscles move when his arms are lifted to slip the gray t-shirt over his head. He can feel He Tian’s eyes on him, he knows he’s making a show out of this on purpose. He can’t bring himself to care, so he continues to stare. Tian grabs the black band tee Guan Shan has given him and takes his time putting it on. It’s not until it’s over his head and the abs are hidden that Guan Shan breaks his gaze to look up at the boy’s eyes.

“Like what you see, darling?”

And the spell is broken.

“No,” he answers quickly. “Just wondering how someone so young can be so cocky.” He turns his head and busies himself by pulling back the comforters so the blush he is supplying cannot be seen.

He Tian just laughs, a low chuckle that makes Guan Shan pause and take a moment to rethink his plan.

... _ What was the plan again? _

Whatever, they should just sleep. There’s only one bed. And a twin bed, at that. This isn’t a big deal though, right? Mo knows things are different now. He knows things will continue to change. He knows he told He Tian that he would let him make up for lost-

“Uh uh, Momo! We can’t go to sleep. There’s too much to say and do! I can’t say the things I wanna say or do the things I wanna do if you sleep!” He pouts.  _ Pouts _ .

“There’s always tomorrow. I’m tired, anyway. Stay on your side. Goodnight.”

He goes to lay down but is stopped by long fingers wrapping around his wrist.

“Momo. What are you so afraid of? Hm?”

“...What did you wanna tell me? And do. What did you wanna do?”

Tian smiles softly and takes his time answering.

“Well. What I wanna say can be simplified or I could go on and on and on and on and-”   
  
“Just spit it out, bastard.”

“Okay! I like you. A lot. I want us to date. That way I know you are mine."

_ Date? Now? Are they...boyfriends that easily? How is he talking about this so easily...and why does he look so giddy? _

“D-date? Like...a relationship?”   
  
“Yes, silly. What else? Don’t you feel the same?”

God, if only He Tian knew what Guan Shan felt. He didn’t want He Tian to feel insecure. He also didn’t know how to express himself the way He Tian has been trying to. He decides to give him the simple answer. Really, the one that matters.

“Yes.”

He is now staring at comically wide eyes, wondering what this information is doing to the other. Surely, this is all He Tian has been thinking about because it was certainly all Guan Shan has had on his mind.

“You mean it?” Mo nods. “So you’re my boyfriend?” He Tian asks through the biggest smile Mo thinks he has ever seen. He nods again, afraid his voice will sound anything less than normal if he affirms it verbally.

They stare at each other for a while, taking the moment in, realizing what has finally happened.

He Tian speaks in a whisper.

“Don’t you care to know what I wanted to  _ do _ to make up for our lost time?"

Shit.

“Tell me.”   
  
“How about I show you?”

“Tian-”   
  
“It’s okay. We don’t have to.”

Mo sighs frustratingly. He wants this more than he has ever wanted anything. He doesn’t know why every time they start to advance in their relationship, he clams up. He doesn’t want it for him and it’s unfair to He Tian.

“I told you, I want to. I’m just  _ scared _ I guess. I’ve never done this before. I don’t know if I can keep up or even do it. What if it isn’t enough for you? What if I freak out and we have to stop?”   
  
“Guan Shan. I will wait for you. I’ll wait for forever. I won’t force you to do anything and I don’t want you to force yourself to do  _ anything  _ for me. Knowing that you feel the same is more than enough for me. We can go as slow as you’d like. I want us to both be happy.”

Fuck this.

Guan Shan leans in far too quickly and smashes their lips together. It’s sloppy and uncoordinated. Mo hasn’t the slightest idea as to what he’s doing but he feels He Tian start to respond. The other begins to move against his lips, slowly, as promised. He doesn’t try to use his tongue like he had done so all that time ago. He’s almost moving so slowly that Guan Shan is starting to get irritated. In hopes to make things more heated to match his growing passion, he puts his arms around Tian’s neck, pulling him in. He seems to get the memo because he grabs Mo’s waist and pushes him onto the desk. His body taking its place by standing in between the redhead’s bare legs and hands taking theirs by grabbing onto the strong thighs. The sudden pressure and aggression causes Mo to moan into the other’s mouth. This gives He Tian the opportunity to slip his tongue in. Mo’s first instinct is to pull away. He expects to hate the feeling of their tongues touching. When he does flinch back, Tian chases his mouth and lets out a hoarse “please”. He relents and they continue where they left off, their exchanges becoming more wild and careless. They spend what feels like forever tasting each other, neither seeming to be satisfied. 

“T-Tian.”

“Hm?”

“Let’s stop.”

He Tian freezes and pulls back immediately. He’s scared to see tears in Mo’s eyes. He’s scared he has fucked things up again. When they make eye contact, both of their eyes widen. Mo’s because he can see the fear in the other’s eyes and Tian’s because contrary to what he had expected to see, he sees a blushing boy who looks as if he’s ready to faint.

“I- I’m sorry. Did I go too-”

“No!” Mo cuts him off short, not wanting to even hear the question. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just...I don’t think I’m ready for the next..” He trails off, embarrassed.

Tian smiles affectionately.

“That’s okay. I guess I got a little excited, huh?"

He pulls Mo down from his position on the desk and pulls him onto the bed and under the covers.

“I can’t breathe you dickhead- argh! Let me out!”   
  
“Sorry, Momo! No can do. I have to make sure you won’t run off~”

Mo stops wrestling and coins this for a second. Even though he said it jokingly, Mo could hear the underlying tone he was trying to cover up.  _ Why does he still sound so unsure? _

“...’M not going anywhere,” he mumbles. “Can you at least let me get comfortable?”   
  
“Ah, I guess~”

He lifts his arms for just enough time for Guan Shan to scoot up and get situated in a more reasonable position. He is now resting his cheek on He Tian’s bicep and is on his side, facing the taller male who is laying on his back. His arms drop and almost knock the air out of Mo. They’re silent after that. Mo feels sleep catching up to him. He hasn’t been this content in a long time. His eyelids are dropping when he hears his name being whispered.

“Mo?”

“Yeah?”

Mo can practically hear He Tian organizing his thoughts.

“I’m afraid that I’ll wake up and none of this will have been real.”

Mo sits up, his chest suddenly tight.

“Why,” he whispers back.

Tian smiles for the thousandth time that night. This time, it’s a mischievous one.

“This all feels too good to be true~! Gosh, Mo, you’re the one of my dreams!”

“You bastard!” Mo punches him in the shoulder and lays back down, reclaiming his spot in the other’s arms.

He hears a chuckle and feels stupid for playing a part in Tian’s games.

  
“I’m serious, though. This is all I’ve ever wanted.”   
  
“Yeah, me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it has been almost two months...


End file.
